Parenting an autistic child with a PDA profile requires a non-traditional, neuroaffirming approach. To outsiders—and sometimes even to yourself—it may seem like you’re rewarding bad behavior.
This is not the case!
What you’re actually doing is modifying the world around your child to accommodate and support their neurological disability. You are building scaffolding to support them as they develop.
By reducing their levels of stress and panic, you will create the space and support they need for their brain to grow. This allows them to develop new and more positive coping strategies in their own time.
Key Areas of Growth for Parents of PDA Children
ACCEPTANCE
- Acknowledge that parenting isn’t what you expected.
- Grieve the loss of an imagined future that now looks different.
- Adjust expectations based on what is realistic and possible for your child, not an idealized version.
- Make a conscious decision to let go of previous parenting approaches and embrace a new way.
- Develop a personal mantra to counter self-doubt and judgment, as parenting this way can feel ‘wrong’ or counterintuitive.
LEARNING and UNLEARNING
- Learn about your child as an individual, their unique needs, and the skills they are struggling the most with.
- Explore strategies that genuinely support your child’s regulation and well-being.
- Unlearn traditional parenting methods that are ineffective or harmful to your child.
- Release societal expectations of what parenting ‘should’ look like.
FINDING SUPPORT
- Seek out professionals (counselors, therapists, OT/PT, doctors) who listen, learn with you, and understand your path.
- Build a support network of family, friends, or even online communities who respect and accept your parenting approach. People who either know what you’re doing (and why), or support you without judgement.
- Develop personal coping strategies for emotional regulation to reduce your own triggers and your role in triggering your child.
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